Slice of the Living Dead
by John Hawkman
Summary: Dexter's worst enemies are re-animated and out to get him. Set during Season Four, in a slight AU.


Warning: Spoilers.

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_**Kill tools. I love my kill tools. Hacksaws, bone saws, knives, drills…I usually prefer hand-operated drills than electric. Makes me feel like I'm earning it. But tonight, I don't have the same confidence. I'm carrying a bit more.  
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Dexter dressed himself in the kill-shirt and cargo pants, then tied the laces on his Sanuks. He then slung the bag of kill-tools over his shoulder, and slid a few other things into his belt compartments.

/

Dexter moved swiftly out of his front door, and down to the parking lot. He wasn't driving; he would need to be on foot. Someone was stalking him, and Dexter needed to bring them out.

"They're here!" Harry yelled

Dexter turned around, and saw them. The six outlines in the horizon approached him.

"OK, what are you guys?" Dexter growled, "You've been following me every night this week."

The six of them exchanged glances. Then they stepped into the light. The shock nearly killed Dexter. The six of them were: Brian Moser, Lilah Tournay, Sergeant Doakes, Miguel Prado, Little Chino, and…one that Dexter couldn't remember. They all looked terrifying, all of them had dead, pale skin, and stitches. The scars that Dexter had inflicted on them were badly put back together.

"What…" Dexter began, "How…who…? But…you're dead?"

"Yes," Brian nodded, "But I had a little help getting back. Although…"

Brian indicated his head. His skin was deathly pale, and parts of it had fallen off. There were stitches from where Dexter had slashed his throat.

"I don't think Debra will be giving me that second chance anytime soon."

"How…?"

It was Lilah's turn to speak.

"There are a lot of people out there who hate you, Dexter," she said, "Some of them with powerful connections. A few stitches here and there, some formaldehyde, and we were good as new."

"But…" Dexter clasped his head, "No! You were dead for hours! I sliced you up! Dumped you at the bottom of the sea! I was at yours and YOUR funeral!"

"Well, a bit of Haitian voodoo was involved," Brian said

"Surprised, motherfucker?" Doakes grinned

Doakes was the scariest yet; his skin was burnt and clumsily sewn back together. Shrapnel from the cabin explosion was embedded in him, some sticking out through his clothes.

"So what are you going to do?" Dexter asked

"Oh, come on," grinned Miguel, "We don't hold anything against you…"

Then they all took out weapons. Clubs, machetes, knives, crossbows, swords, pipe bombs, flaming bottles of brandy…Dexter turned to Harry.

"Any suggestions?"

"Run!" Harry yelled

"No kidding!"

Dexter took off running; Harry ran with him.

"Dex! With me!" he yelled, heading to an alley

Dexter sprinted off after him.

"Fuck!" he yelled

"Keep up with me!" Harry yelled

Harry turned sharply into an alley. Dexter followed, and almost skidded into a row of trash cans.

"Dad, this is too weird!" Dexter exclaimed

"I know! Keep moving!" Harry barked

The two of them leapt over a chain link fence, and across a street. Dexter almost got hit by an SUV. He soldiered on, and followed Harry to the park. Dexter liked the park; he sometimes took Astor and Cody there after school. He'd kill to be doing that right now.

_**Very true.**_

/

Dexter ran down a tarmac path, through a forested area. Harry wasn't there anymore, Dexter was alone. Suddenly, a flaming brandy bottle went flying over Dexter's head, and exploded right in front of him. The serial killer tripped up, narrowly avoiding the flames. He turned around to see his six enemies. They didn't look tired, they showed no sign of fatigue, and their hatred for Dexter had only intensified.

"I'm gonna skin you alive, Morgan!" Doakes yelled

"You can't run from your problems, Dexter," Lilah taunted

**_She's right. You can take these guys._**

Dexter turned to Harry.

"Dad, I can't run anymore," he panted

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah!"

"Good. I'm sick of running from these wimps!"

Harry disappeared; Dexter reached to his knife-satchel. Rapidly, he undid the safety clip, and assumed a ju-jitsu stance.

"I killed you once," Dexter growled, "I can do it again!"

"Very well," Brian nodded, "How shall we do these, guys? All at once, or one at a time?"

"You'll all get a slice of him," Doakes said, "I just want first carve."

Doakes advanced forward, twirling a Gerber Mark II combat knife.

"I'm gonna enjoy this," he grinned maliciously

Doakes lunged at Dexter, attempting to stab him. Dexter kicked the knife out of his hand, and head-butted the man. As soon as he was down, Lilah lifted up a crossbow, and shot Dexter in the leg with a flaming arrow.

"Fuck!"

Miguel swung a two-by-four (with a nail through it) in the direction of Dexter, but Dexter managed to catch it.

"Smooth move, friend," Miguel grinned

"You were a lousy friend!" Dexter growled

Dexter yanked the plank out of Miguel's hand, and thrust it through the man's chest. He barely felt anything.

"Shouldn't that turn you to dust?" Dexter asked, bewildered

"That's vampires, you idiot!" Doakes groaned, attempting to relocate his neck

Dexter grabbed Miguel's shirt, and swung him face-first into a tree. Then the man Dexter didn't recognize attempted to hit Dexter. Dexter dodged it, and shot behind the man, ensnaring him in a headlock.

"Who are you?" Dexter groaned, "I can't imagine killing you; you don't look like a threat to anyone!"

"I'm Nathan Marten!" the man snapped

"Um…"

"You strangled me in my house!"

"Sorry," Dexter shrugged, "I just don't…"

"I was stalking your girlfriend's daughter!"

_**Bad move.**_

"I remember you now."

Dexter reached to his belt, still holding Marten in place, and took out an unusual canister.

"W-what's that?" Marten asked nervously

"Homemade napalm," Dexter said, calmly, "I sometimes use it on arsonists."

Too late, Marten tried to escape; Dexter tore open the canister, and poured the sticky contents onto Marten.

"Crap, no matches," Dexter muttered

Lilah attempted to hit Dexter with a flaming baseball bat. Dexter stuck his leg out, and kicked Marten in her direction, setting him alight.

"Aaaaaah!"

Marten ran away into the woods, leaving behind a trail of ashes. Doakes looked at Dexter in shock.

"Where do you get those things?" Doakes exclaimed

Dexter hurled a knife into Doakes' eye.

"Mostly Wal-Mart, the internet…"

Suddenly, Little Chino grabbed Dexter from behind, pinning his arms down.

"Shit!" Dexter groaned

Brian picked up Lilah's crossbow.

"Now the boss wanted us to bring you alive," Brian said, "But frankly, I don't care. We just want revenge…"

Brian lifted up the crossbow.

"OK, Chino, this might hit you," he warned, "But it'll probably just go through your arm and hit our guy."

"Works for me," Chino growled

Dexter struggled to reach a knife or a saw, but Little Chino's grasp was too tight.

"Is that kid with you?" Dexter croaked

"What?"

Little Chino spun around; the crossbow bolt embedded itself into his back. Dexter jerked his entire body, and threw the giant off-balance. They collapsed on the ground. Dexter grimaced; a six-foot-nine muscular gang enforcer (who was dead) was not the most pleasant thing to be beneath. By a sheer miracle, Dexter managed to push him off, and get to his feet. Miguel (still with the wood through his chest) charged at Dexter, but Dexter whipped out a syringe, and jammed it in the man's neck.

"You fail biology," Miguel sneered, "I'm dead! No heartbeat, no blood pumping! You think your stinking M-99 will work on me?"

"No," Dexter admitted

Suddenly, Miguel's neck began to sizzle.

"But battery acid might," Dexter grinned

"You son of a bitch!" Miguel screamed

/

Dexter surveyed his attackers; Marten was gone, Little Chino was struggling to lift himself up, and Miguel was on the floor, writhing in pain. Half of them were down. It was no victory; Dexter was barely able to stand.

"So what's the plan?" Brian asked, "Stand around and wait for your cop-friends to bail you out? You know, Dexter, you're not one of them. You can try as hard as you can to fit in, but at the end of the day…"

**_I don't have time for your Hannibal Lecture._**

Dexter took off running. It wasn't easy, with the arrow in his leg and his head still hurting from slamming it into Doakes.

"Come on, son, soldier on!" Harry urged

"Why…is…this…happening?" Dexter growled

Dexter yanked the arrow out of his leg, and then had to bite his leather glove to stop himself from screaming. After a nightmarish two-minute run, Dexter made it to the road.

"Need a car…need a car," Dexter growled

The only thing in sight was a Harley Davidson.

_**Motorcycles. There's another human obsession I don't understand. They're loud, dangerous, and small. Goes against every human desire.**_

Nevertheless, he took out his lock picks, and started the engine. The pounding of footsteps continued. Dexter hopped onto the bike, and made a quick exit…

/

To Be Continued…


End file.
